I can’t remember where I saw / heard this question, but I did - about a month ago - and it kinda set off something in me, so naturally I wanted to bring it to you all! I live a very very VERY full life. Full, in the sense that the days aren’t finished until I’m exhausted, and full, in the sense that almost every interaction gives me life/ love. But one thing about me? I always need to be doing something. I’m honestly at my happiest when I’m working/ doing things, but sometimes I wonder if I’m just in a constant state of distracting myself.
Since I was about 16 I used to, almost like clockwork, get incredibly depressed about once a year. As I got older, and went through more ✨shit✨ these states got a little deeper, until I had a full on menty-b at the end of 2020 that lasted for ages and basically scared everybody (including me.) But the ONLY thing that’s ever pulled me out of these states (not therapy, not anti-depressants) is DISTRACTION. Finding something (like work, or friends, or my family taking me on holiday and showing me what life is again) is yet to fail to get me out of these (sometimes months long) lows.
I feel a lot more stable now, and like I know myself waaaay more, so the lows come far far less often, but I honestly think I’m both happy and distracted, about 90% of the time - and it really works for me. I think I’m telling you this because I think this question is such a great one to ask yourself to 💘check in💘 so:
are you happy, or just distracted?