And the thing that hit me the most about the ordeal, and what will be unpacked as we sit together hooning red wine and tearing apart pizza on Friday night, was how making difficult decisions is so fucking tough. Ergh. How the hell are we meant to know?
I think we’re afraid to let go of a good thing (or even sometimes not even good, just, a thing) in case something better never comes along and then we’ll be found on a beach sometime in our late 70s regretting that thing we did all those years ago and now we’re alone and nothing means anything. But on the other hand, if something isn’t right, the un-rightness of it all can become so consuming other parts of life stop making sense. What the hell is one to do?
I’ve seen this being described in articles a lot as a millennial/Gen Z phenomena, blaming the internet for making us feel like there’s always something better and new out there to do and see and know and love and that we should learn to shut the hell up and be content with what life serves you. I think part of that’s a little bit true, but also part not and I wanted to give you something else to think about instead:
I learned this thing when I was training as a yoga teacher (going back to my Julia Roberts roots, I know, but hear me out), which I think about all the time. It’s the idea that the body just knows. There’s a theory that on one side of you is your dead self and the other is the future self and when you’re trying to make a decision about something really tough, you turn to your dead self and ask it what would it think? It’s not meant to be bleak, but more the idea that immediately, you have a sense of knowing. The confusion is often clouded in our difficulties letting go and our fear of things we can’t control. The answer was there all along. Simple, but true, no? Would love to hear your thoughts.
My last piece of advice is that I read a really gorge book on holiday called Conversations on Love by Natasha Lunn and if you’re going through a heart thing — romantic, friend, baby, grief, parents, family — this is what you need.
Til next week — Hope you’re heart’s ok. Mine’s good, but just off to lock it up and throw it in the sea for a hot minute. Be back soon xo