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My Policeman, NOT My Twitter CEO 👮‍♀️

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My angels!! I’m back! I’m well! I’m only a little bit sunburnt! I don’t like promising normalcy in this newsy (bc wtf is normal) but I’ve just arrived home from Bali and honestly I want nothing more than to just sleep in my own bed for at least a week. I’ve literally got a brand new place that we’ve moved into and I’ve only spent ONE night there, and nothing in my room/ life is organised in any type of way. And that shit stresses me out. AND it means that I haven’t been in my cute routine of writing this for you (or actually being proud of what I’m writing) and most importantly… I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO ANSWER ALL YOUR EMAILS! I HATE WHEN LIFE GETS TOO BUSY TO DO THAT BC IT’S MY FAVE THING!
Anyway, I’m not promising normalcy, but I’m going to do my damn best to be the excellent and reliable pen pal that you’re used to, okay?
In the meantime, huuuuuge shoutout to Bel (u know her, u love her) for her gorg Culture Vulture newsy (you can get that here)/ and her chime on Imposter Syndrome, and to Liv for holding down the fort back home and just being the best everrrrrr.
Now, where did we leave off? Oh yeah - I was NOT well! In fact, probably the sickest I’ve EVER felt!! But thankfully my Bali belly was short-lived - one afternoon of true illness, and then a day of being weak and just having to drift in and out of sleeping and swimming and I was back at it!!! After my wee ✨moment✨ Rubes and I got right back into being the intrepid travellers we are. We got a couples massage (why? idk!) and it really took us to the boundaries of our friendship. It was actually gorg (a lil painful at times for me, I must be tense), and it ended with like… a full body scrub down which was both lovely and incredibly intimate. It also didn’t help that we locked eyes at one point while we were both naked on our backs and LOST IT LIKE WE USED TO BACK IN SCHOOL (you know, when you’re not allowed to laugh it’s always the worst etc etc.) On the bright side, my skin has never felt so soft.
The next day we did a full 180 and totally undid everything the massage did for our stress levels by doing the most horrifying and epic ATVing through the mud/ forest/ rivers/ CAVES in Ubud. Rubes was pretty apprehensive at the start and for good reason because she CAME OFF HER ATV ABOUT 5 MINUTES IN (she’ll hate me saying this so I’ll leave it at that.) She was fine and handled it like a champ, but it was honestly the wildest terrain I’ve ever seen (and I’ve driven a TukTuk through India…) It ended up being one of the sickest parts of the trip (and shoutout to Budek for literally saving us multiple times) so #noregrets from me (not sure about Rubes tho.)
The rest of the trip was just us eating Mi goreng, riding on the back of scooters, visiting various beaches and pools to lie by, and falling in love with every local we met (and consequently bombarding them with questions about EVERYTHING - we know about so many people’s kids/ pets / long-distance relationships / choice of transportation at this point.)
All of this to say, I honestly had the best best BEST time, but it feels so fucking nice to be home and talking to you from my own bed again 🥺
  • TELL ME YOU’RE ALL GOING TO WATCH MY POLICEMAN
  • COP 27: “We’re on the highway to hell”
  • Elon continues to tweet
  • Phoebe Bridgers and Paul Mescal are officially engaged
  • Your guide to the 2022 midterm elections for every state
TELL ME YOU’RE ALL GOING TO WATCH MY POLICEMAN
This section of the newsy is brought to you by Prime Video and the release of My Policeman!! Stream it here now, and see Harry in his first leading role 🥺🥺
Ok so I feel like I don’t even need to introduce this section because My Policeman has been ALL OVER OUR RADARS because of our common interest/ deep crush on Harry Styles (duh). It probs comes as no surprise to any of you that Rubes, Liv and I all watched/ adored/ melted over My Policemen when we got to see it, and honestly, I WANT TO SEE IT AGAIN ALREADY. For those of you who aren’t deep in the fandom and may not know what it’s about ✨no spoilers✨ but it’s a gorg/ tragic love story (or love triangle story I should say) between Tom (Harry Styles), Marion (Emma Corrin), and Patrick (David Dawson).
One of the cool/ buzzy things about My Policeman (which I didn’t actually know going into it) is that it’s a film that’s been adapted from a novel which was inspired by the famous ménage à trois between novelist EM Forster, Forster’s policeman lover Bob Buckingham and Bob’s wife, May!! The more you know!!
As for the performances?? 
They honestly slay. Harry is Harry, and as with any endeavour by someone as famous as him, it’s hard - at times - to differentiate him from his character, Tom (the young policeman who’s trying to come to terms with his sexuality), but you get used to it pretty quickly (and it’s not his fault that we all know him so well!!) But MAD props go to David Dawson, who plays Patrick (a young gay museum curator living his life as best he can in a time when homosexuality was a criminal offence) and Emma Corrin who plays Marion (the woman Tom is married to while he’s in a secret relationship with Patrick.) Their performances are STUNNING, the sex scenes incredibly graceful, and the tragedy of the story really oozes out of each character.
At its heart, the film feels like it’s about regret and repression, denial and delusion, and intertwined through it all, love. I honestly know you’re all going to LOVE IT and should go and see it ASAP so you can give me all your thoughts!!!
COP 27: "We're on the highway to hell"
In case you missed it, COP27 (the global climate summit that Greta Thunberg rejects, saying it lets people get away with “greenwashing, lying and cheating”) is currently underway in Egypt and… it’s kinda going as we expected. UN chief António Guterres kicked it off by saying a few depresso one-liners like:
  • “We are on a highway to climate hell with our foot still on the accelerator”
  • “The clock is ticking” (a classic)
  • “We are in the fight of our lives and we are losing”
And in case you’re wondering why he’s feeling this type of way:
“Global temperatures have increased by 1.1C since pre-industrial times, and scientists believe that going beyond 1.5C would see dangerous impacts for people all over the world. But experts say that if we continue with current policies we are on track for about 2.7C of warming.”
One interesting part of this year’s summit will be the discussion around rich countries paying poorer countries for the damage we’ve been causing them for over a century. For the first time this year the issue of “loss and damage” is on the agenda, and for someone who spends a bit of time thinking about how the people causing the most damage are often the ones who feel the consequences the least, I’m super intrigued as to how this chat goes.
I’ll keep you updated, obv!
Elon continues to tweet
How would you all feel about a special edish of The Shit Show outlining all of this Twitter mayhem? I feel like it’s a bit of a fucked up moment in history that I kinda wanna document on mic, so I think you’ll be getting one anyway 👀
The latest from Chief Twit:
Casey Newton
Multiple sources and Twitter Blind chats now saying that the company has begun to reach out to some people it laid off yesterday asking them to come back. Whoops! 🥴
Casey Newton
From Twitter Slack: “sorry to @- everybody on the weekend but I wanted to pass along that we have the opportunity to ask folks that were left off if they will come back. I need to put together names and rationales by 4PM PST Sunday.
  • He is now banning users who ‘impersonate’ him - including comedian Kathy Griffin (identity theft its not a joke, Kathy!)
Elon Musk
Going forward, any Twitter handles engaging in impersonation without clearly specifying “parody” will be permanently suspended
  • And he’s suspended 479,000 other accounts while he’s at it
  • 877,000 users have deactivated Twitter accounts after Musk’s reign began
Where are users going?
People seem to be moving to (or at least exploring) a new ‘decentralised’ server-based platform (explainer here) called Mastodon, but my prediction is that it will be pretty short-lived.
Finally, he’s committed to ElonJet (such a hero.)
Elon Musk
My commitment to free speech extends even to not banning the account following my plane, even though that is a direct personal safety risk
Phoebe Bridgers and Paul Mescal are reportedly engaged
I thought this was old news???? But it’s in ALL the headlines at the mo so let’s talk about it again - Paul and Phoebe are/might be engaged!!! I actually don’t give a shit about weddings/ engagements, but I give lots of shits about the two people involved AND their love story!! Basically, they both publicly thirsted over each other’s talents (he showed the world that she was his Spotify listen, she loved him in Normal People… 🎶can I make it any more obvious??🎶) and now (cue Taylor Swift ✨Mastermind✨) they’re engaged (maybe/ probably.)
anna
no because phoebe bridgers watched normal people, publicly thirsted over paul mescal and is now engaged to him and for that she’s my hero
allie 🧸
i still can’t believe this is how phoebe bridgers and paul mescal met 😭 https://t.co/eYIXHQ5f4f
Also Lorde brought Phoebe out on stage to sing Stoned at the Nail Salon which is dope as hell:
Lorde Updates ☀️
Lorde, Phoebe Bridgers and the entire crowd singing “Stoned at the Nail Salon” together ❤️

#SolarPowerTour

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Your guide to the 2022 midterm elections for every state
ALL OF THE INFO YOU NEED HERE!! FOR MY BABIES IN THE STATES!! GO AND VOTE PLEASE!!!
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